It's not a review. Not even a summary. Only some highlights of an interesting book I'm reading now - Pinocchio Parenting: 21 Outrageous Lies We Tell Our Kids, by Chuck Borsellino. Sorry lah, there are gems in every page - I couldn't possibly note down all.
The author points out the UNINTENTIONAL lies we tell our kids and suggests a better way to help our kids discover the truth of who they are and who they are meant to be.
The first few lies for a start (I hope I have the patience to work through all, bear with me)
#1 Lie - You can be anything you want to be.
The Truth - You may not be able to be anything you want to be in life, but you can do the most you can with what you have and do it in a way nobody has ever seen before.
Parents should
- instead tell their kids that God has a plan and purpose for their lives and help them discover and pursue it with everything they've got.
- encourage your kids to do their very best at whatever they try to do (they don't have to be THE best, just THEIR best)
- encourage their kids to set their goals high (give God a chance to show up and take the kids from their best to his best.
- motivate your kids to work hard to accomplish their goals
- encourage your kids to try lot of different things and discover their own unique set of God-given gifts
#2 Lie - Looks Don't Matter - It's what's on the inside that counts.
The Truth - Appearance is important. First impressions are fast and unforgettable, so do what you can to make them count, not cost.
Parents should help their kids find that healthy balance between caring for what's on the inside and what's on the outside:
- major on "health", minor on "beauty" - emphasize healthy eating and regular exercise so kids learn to value fitness not vanity.
- differentiate between "repairs / restoration" (eg braces) and "enhancements / fixation". Anything can be taken too far.
- spend money on staples; save money on trends when it comes to shopping for clothes
#3 Lie - Life is fair
I love this - "If life is fair, husbands would pick up one piece of clothing for every one pieced dropped. Kids would put one toy back on the shelf for every one toy taken off. Academic grades would be based as much on effort as on aptitude. Grocery lines would proceed at the exact same rate. Good people would be rewarded; bad people would be punished."
The Truth - Life's not fair. It never has been, and it never will be. The bad news is, it will only be fair some of the time. The good news is...the same as the bad news.
Teach our kids how to respond to injustice:
1. Speak up if you're ever overcharged, mistreated, or unjustly unemployed
2. Shut up if someone gets a bigger scoop of ice-cream than you do.
3. Step up by doing the best you can with what you have. (Resist the temptation to cry 'foul')
4. Stand up and do the right thing, regardless of the cost - simply because IT"S THE RIGHT THING TO DO.
Ok, the first 3 lies for you. If i post 3 per day, it will mean i have 6 more days to go. Or more. LoL
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