Apple & Orange

A mummy friend of mine complained about the mother of her son's classmate. My friend said that this mummy is TOXIC, lol. But my friend is quick to add that this mother (let's call her Mrs X) is a nice and friendly lady but my friend is unlikely to keep up with the friendship.

i found out that whenever my friend bumps into Mrs X in school, Mrs X will talk about her efforts to nurture her child. She shared about sending her boy to a test that cost more than $1k to find out what her child is good at, so that she won't need to waste time and money on those areas that her son hasn't shown any or less potential comparatively speaking. She also shared that she will print out pointers on school lessons and paste them on the wall around the house so as to boost the power of recall.

My friend, a stay-home mum to 3, whom i think is doing much more for her kids than i'm doing to mine, is very disturbed by Mrs X's sharing. She thinks that if she keeps on listening to Mrs X, she will think that she has failed as a mother. Poor friend :(

i think much of the stress that local parents face comes from comparing themselves with others and comparing their kids with others' kids. But apple and orange lah. Kids' abilities and family situation differ, what's there to compare? i tell my friend that she is doing very well herself, maybe she will feel better off comparing with me instead, lol.Seriously, not comparing is the way to go. If you are fat, the solution wouldn't be to compare with other fatter people to feel better mah. It would to be to lose weight sensibly. If skinnier people are intent to talk about their weight loss secrets in front of you, then listen to them and discern if it's helpful or not. Not helpful don't need to feel bad at all.

Talking about comparing. Ethan has always been the one getting the limelight in school in comparison to Ewan. Recently, Ethan went on stage to receive an award for a Math competition. And 2 Saturdays back, he was at another Math competition. We are usually sensitive in celebrating Ethan's achievements where Ewan is concerned. Ewan's moment came last Friday :)

Ewan got through the first round of the GEP test. (Nation wide test for gifted education programme). Ethan got through the first round too when he was in P3. What Ewan shared with us was very telling. He said that his form teacher Miss H announced that only 2 in his class got through. Ewan never thought he would stand a chance cos, in his words, "it's always not me". When the second name announced was his, he jumped up and shouted yahoo, LOL

i'm very happy that Ewan has this opportunity to be proud of himself. We can't change his birth order, nor can we change his gor gor and his achievements. But Ewan has to learn not to compare himself with Ethan or anybody else. He has his God-given talents and abilities. But he must learn too to be humble and learn from those who are better.

i love both apple and orange :)