Much Ado About Marks

I don't really know what my point is, but thought i just post these quotes for myself (and for you?)

From the papers 2 days ago on kids in India committing suicide during exam time:

"Parents have big expectations and give undue importance to exams. For children, the marks are benchmarks of their self esteem."

"We have to give youngsters - and their parents - the life skills to know marks are not everything in life."

- views of a psychiatrist in India in response to the suicides.


I met the kids' teachers yesterday to discuss the kids' progress in school. This is a once a year thing and even though I think I know my kids pretty well, it would be good to connect with their teachers, at least to say hi ;-)

Ethan's form teacher said that he was expected to perform better. (I also say.) But she was nice enough to add that he is a pleasant boy. Ewan's teacher said the same thing about Ewan. The truth is, even if you are a top top top student, the teacher will still exhort you to do better. Of course parents know giving encouragement is better than giving criticisms. But as papa and I know and struggle with, it is a pain/frustration to see them making careless and stupid mistakes. If it's a difficult question, at least you can explain to them and make them understand. But how do you "cure" carelessness? Papa jokingly suggested that I should do a mock paper with wrong answers for Ethan to spot. I'm not sure if I will go to that extent ;-) but we just have to work with them to strengthen what is weak.

I suspect many parents like myself are not expecting our kids to score 100 marks per se. We are just expecting them to perform to their abilities. We feel disappointed when you know they could have done much better. On the flip side, the kids must be feeling that their self worth is tied to the marks they score because the whole world is talking about their mid-year scores. When I was at my mum's place last weekend, my siblings asked Ethan about his marks, at different times. By the time Ethan had to answer for the 3rd time, he exclaimed loudly that he wished he had a tape recorder ;-)

Parents have much to learn - learn not to see their kids in terms of marks/banding/grades etc. Kids too have to learn that they have a responsibility to love learning and give their best when it is called for.

The month-long school hols are descending in one day's time. It's time to move on. Enjoy the break. It's really not the end of the world hahahaha