Remembering

On the eve of Chinese New Year last year, at around noon time, i received a call from my mum asking me why none of us have turned up at her place for lunch yet. i said huh? because we already had our reunion dinner earlier. A little explanation here: as my mum ages, she finds it physically tiring to prepare food for our entire family (24 if we include my uncle's family), so last year, we chose to eat out for our reunion dinner, and we also chose not to do it on the eve but at the weekend closest to CNY, so that she wouldn't be tired out preparing consecutive meals (reunion dinner and lunch on first day of CNY which includes my uncle's family). Imagine my surprise when i received her call. i asked her what she meant by nobody is there yet? Then to her utter frustration, she realised that she had mistaken that day for the first day of CNY and had prepared everything for the steamboat lunch. She was so angry with herself that she vented her anger on me when i said i couldn't go because i was in the midst of preparing for the reunion dinner with my in-laws at my place later in the evening. She told me NOT to come the next day too. i quickly called all my siblings and those who have not made other arrangements headed to her place.

This is not only an unfortunate episode, but a significant one because we are confronted very starkly with the decline of my mum's mental alertness. A whole year has passed since and although there weren't major episodes of forgetfulness, my mum is aware and is ofttimes frustrated that she forgets things, people and words (like what is the name of an item).

My good friend's mum is recently diagnosed with dementia. Another good friend's mum also has dementia and he has just on this past week arranged for her to be admitted to a nursing home :( i learned so much from my friends' sharing. i am fearful for my mum. While she still goes about her daily routine with no problem, i worry about her everyday and my family prays every night that our good Lord will protect her.

More than worry and fear, i am prompted to preserve her life story. i want to get her talking and remembering. It was an awkward start because when i visit her, we usually talk about other mundane stuff. But 2 weeks back, i whipped out my notebook and told her my intentions. She laughed....that was a good start :) i will be writing about our conversations in another private blog meant only for my family, especially the younger generation of my kids and nephews and nieces. This is the writing project i was talking about in an earlier post.

i think this is better stewardship of my time:  time spent talking with my mum and time spent writing about her precious memories.