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i can't think of a title.

i'm still a little uncomfortable at what has happened.

Yesterday i received an sms from a mum who said that she noticed something was not right with her son from the time school reopened in January. He keeps saying he is stupid and useless. This mum couldn't get anything out of her son and so asked the son's tutor if he had shared anything. The tutor replied in an sms (which was also forwarded to me) that the boy shared that Ethan had been nasty with him by calling him names. This mum also said that it started last November and Ethan had also pushed this boy for no reason.

Ethan was still in school when i received the sms and the first thing i did was to apologise even though i haven't clarified anything with Ethan. i told that mum that i am truly sorry and will not hesitate to discipline Ethan if he did that. Truth be told, deep down, i know Ethan is not a malicious person. He may be bossy but he doesn't use words or violence to make life hell for another person. But i need to act on this complaint nonetheless. i prayed for wisdom while i waited about 3 hours before he returned home from scouts' meeting.

i was calm when i told him the mother's complaint. Ethan looked at me and said "no" to everything i asked. He looked at me in the eye and wasn't defensive. He said he hasn't done anything of that sort to that boy. What would you do if you were me? I told Ethan that i will stand by him if he has told me the truth. i called the mum and told her what Ethan said and offered to let her speak with him on the phone. She refused saying that her son was around.

i was still not at peace the next morning. i discussed with Fai and we both thought we'd better think carefully whether to bring this up to the form teacher or not. The irony is the situation would have been easier if Ethan admitted to this bad behaviour, cos then, we can deal with it, discipline him and move on. Now it was like being accused and nothing we said would be believed.

When i walked into the school for my reading duties, i saw Ethan's form teacher Mrs T, standing right in front of me. i have never met her in the mornings i'm in school and here i decided i should talk with her.

She told me she doesn't believe that Ethan would do such a thing (it provided some comfort) and promised to look into this matter. When i returned home from school later, i thought i should email her cos i thought i'm clearer when i voice things out in writing. But i didn't have the teacher's email with me and i called the school, and would you guessed it - Mrs T was right beside the school clerk when i called. She told me she had spoken to the 2 boys and Ethan admitted to making fun of that boy's name once or twice only and it was so long ago that he had forgotten about it. But he had never pushed him nor did he do it again when school reopened. That boy had separately told Mrs T the SAME thing as well. Mrs T told me she didn't punish Ethan but just to let him know that sometimes even if he doesn't mean it, a simple joke can hurt someone badly.

i thought for a long while and sms that mother what the teacher had told me. i told her that i will deal with Ethan on that matter. But as for her son's changed behaviour since the beginning of the year, i sought her understanding NOT to finger Ethan as the cause of it since the form teacher had already investigated. i also asked her to talk Mrs T, afterall she knows more about our boys and their behaviour during school time. Do you know how she responded to my suggestion?

She said she won't call Mrs T cos Mrs T will call her if there is anything to give feedback on. "It's a small matter". Get it? These were her exact words. SMALL MATTER????? She squarely put Ethan as THE problem and now she won't even find out from the teacher if there is anything that happened in school that could be a source of concern???????

i'm still not quite at peace. But i guess i would be by and by.