老 Hero

Today, there was another talk organised for parents of P1 students. It was the same speaker that i mentioned in an earlier post and this morning, he talked about the importance of dads' involvement in parenting. I think most would agree that mothers are generally more involved than dads in parenting. So much so that mothers are usually the ones to read up on parenting topics, yes? lol

Needless to say, there were more mothers attending the orientation programme and more mothers purchasing the books/resources that the speaker brought along to sell, compared to fathers.

The significant other in my case doesn't read parenting stuff. And i've since given up on asking him to read what i find useful. Instead, i share interesting bite-size info with him which has a higher chance of receptivity on his part, lol. Once, when i was facilitating a marital workshop some years back, a young couple shared that they have an "imposed" quota of at least ONE kiss, ONE hug and ONE "I Love You" a day for each other. I find it amusing and told the significant other when i came home. Lo and behold, he finds it amusing too and we have been practising that till this day. Believe me, it helps when we are at each other's throat to remind ourselves that we've yet to fulfil the quota, hahahaha.

Yesterday, i shared with him what the speaker said about the marital relationship being the most important relationship in a family and only when the marital relationship is strong that parenting can be effective. Well, we've always heard that the best gift you can give your child is to love your significant other. How true ;-) I always tell him to 以身作則, so years down the road, some girl is going to thank us for modelling for her husband what a strong marital relationship is.

I also shared about the part that boys learn how to be a man from their father, not their mother. Mothers play a significant role in a boy's first 8 to 12 years of life, and fathers take over from there. (Mothers have to learn to let go lah). I specifically emphasized to the significant other what the speaker said about fathers being their son's hero ;-)

Ewan came home today with a orientation booklet in which he has to answer questions like his favourite TV show, colour, hobby, etc. And in the blank after the question "Who do you admire the most?", he put "My father". WOW!! Last year, Ethan wrote in his school journal that he wants to be like his father who is good with his hands. I just feel so proud of my significant other!! But now, it has become a running joke for us: when i say "You're his hero, you deal with it" and he'll say "I take over when he is 12" bwahahahahaha.

I just remembered another thing the speaker said that i've yet to share with the significant other. Will do so later ;-) The speaker told us that as parents of boys, we need to constantly do the following to them:

1. Affirm &
2. Encourage

To Affirm means to make strong or strengthen. Strengthen our boys, especially their unique qualities, what they do well in. To Encourage means to give courage. Give courage to our boys to learn and try new things and to overcome obstacles.

i think i shall practice that on the significant other first. Afterall, he is the hero to our boys, lol